


Asphyxia | Death Note

by Mari_0538



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: AO3 tags are always strange, F/M, honestly, what do you even write in the tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-06 02:48:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18842068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mari_0538/pseuds/Mari_0538
Summary: |She could no longer hold onto the memories, and so she let them go. Falling peacefully into insanity.|In which Kirai Seikatsu reminisces upon her memories of a serial killer, many detectives, shinigami, apples, and notebooks.





	Asphyxia | Death Note

Chains: On The Basis Of Reminisce

3:27 am, January 11, 2014

¤¤¤

Kirai Seikatsu often found herself looking back on her life, on the good and the bad, no matter how disturbing the majority of those memories were. On the basis of life and death, Kirai spent her days laying on the cold floor of her prison cell, searching for a reason to live. Searching for a voice, for a hand to take, searching for something, anything, but she could never find what she so longed for.

And there was no one she could blame, but herself.

The once-promising artist could only blame herself. Was it because she had been so foolish as to cooperate with a plan that couldn't have ever worked? Or was it because she had been so desperate that she had turned to murder so that the one she loved would not leave her?

The third option would have had to have been both, desperation and foolishness, the want to live out her childish dreams with a boy who found solace in homicide. These thoughts only pushed her further into her insane-like state, she reached out to grip one of the cold metal bars, desperate for something to hold onto, not wanting to fall back into the abyss that was her distorted mind.

But things could've been different, had she not have been that desperate. And at that moment she wondered, what would her life have been like if she had never followed that boy? Would she still be in her prison, both physically and mentally? Would she not be suffering in silence, only a few steps away from her eventual demise? Reality truly was an eye for an eye, murder in exchange for suffering.

Light Yagami.

A name that was embedded into her mind, utterly unforgettable.

Light Yagami was not to blame. It would have been pure hypocrisy to simply blame him, as she had just as much to do with the disturbing cycle of events. She too had pulled the trigger with her eyes closed. Light had faced his own consequences, Kirai would face her own without complaint, justly. 

The memories were blurry, those of the Death Note, those of shinigami, of detectives, and red apples. The justice and reason of the scheming, of the so-called 'plan', were empty and now broken morals. Kirai's legs were unsteady and she almost fell over when she began to stand, using the metal bars as leverage. What had been the name of the shinigami, the creature that had come along with the Death Note? What had been the name of the detective? No, there had been multiple, the term 'detective was too broad. What had been the name of the first, the detective who had failed to expose Kira for the murderer they truly were? The second Kira, who had acted carelessly, obsessively, and submissively for a man who could not and would not love her? She had simply been a pawn, in a game that had not been won. And what of the young child, the second, the white-haired boy who had done what the first could not? Who was the woman, one who had no vision, yet could see better than most? Also a pawn in the game, on the inverse side, struggling to understand what was right and what was wrong.

The memories hurt, they hurt much more than one would think and Kirai fell to the ground in pain and disdain. She could not cry or call out, all she could do was remember, watch the scenes replay endlessly in her head. She could do nothing to stop the pain and the pain refused to stop and Kirai understood.

For this was the price of justice.

|


End file.
